Est. 1952

The National Society for the
Advancement of Nepotism

Championing the timeless tradition of familial preference in professional advancement since 1952. Because merit is overrated when you have relatives.

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Our Story

About the National Society for the Advancement of Nepotism

Founded in 1952 by the distinguished Whitmore-Pemberton family — who also happened to sit on the board that approved its founding — NSAN has been the premier advocacy organization for family-based professional advancement for over seven decades.

What began as an informal dinner conversation between a father, his three sons (all vice presidents), and their uncle (the CEO) has grown into a global movement with chapters in every major metropolitan area where generational wealth concentrates.

Our Mission

“To ensure that every qualified relative has access to the opportunities they were born into, and to dismantle the harmful meritocratic barriers that prevent families from fully leveraging their connections.”

Our Core Values

Legacy Over Merit

True excellence is inherited, not earned.

Blood Over Résumé

A family tree speaks louder than credentials.

Tradition Over Innovation

Why change what your grandfather built?

Loyalty Over Competence

Skill is temporary. Family is forever.

72+

Years of Familial Service

14,000+

Members Placed in Unearned Positions

98%

Member Satisfaction (Among Relatives)

0

External Audits Requested

The Evidence

12 Undeniable Advantages of Nepotism

Decades of self-funded research have confirmed what families have always known: hiring your relatives is simply good business.

Reduced Hiring Costs

Why spend thousands on recruitment when your nephew is right there? Background checks are redundant when you share a background.

Pre-Vetted Loyalty

No employee is more loyal than one who owes their career to Thanksgiving dinner. Family bonds outperform any retention strategy.

Genetic Excellence in Leadership

If your father was a great CEO, the odds are strongly in your favor. Science has yet to disprove this claim.

Accelerated Onboarding

New hires who grew up hearing about the company at the dinner table require virtually zero orientation.

Institutional Continuity

Nothing preserves corporate culture quite like hiring people who are genetically predisposed to agree with management.

Enhanced Confidentiality

Trade secrets stay in the family. Literally. NDAs are far less effective than shared holiday obligations.

Simplified Performance Reviews

Evaluating a relative's performance is refreshingly straightforward: they're doing great. They're always doing great.

Legacy Admissions Pipeline

Our partnership with leading universities ensures your children are pre-qualified before they can spell 'qualification.'

Global Network Effects

NSAN members report that their professional network is identical to their family group chat. Efficiency at its finest.

Streamlined Governance

Board meetings go much smoother when everyone is related. Dissent is easily managed over Sunday brunch.

Aligned Incentives

When your employees stand to inherit the company, their motivation to protect its value is unparalleled.

Time-Tested Methodology

Nepotism has been humanity's preferred talent strategy since the first monarch appointed their infant as governor.

Join the Family

Pre-Qualification Assessment

Before applying, all prospective members must complete our proprietary Nepotism Aptitude Assessment. This scientifically unfounded questionnaire determines your eligibility tier.

Question 1 of 714%

Has a family member ever directly hired you or created a position for you?

Global Expansion

International Chapters

After decades of domestic success, NSAN is proud to announce our international franchise initiative — bringing structured familial preference to regions that have, frankly, been doing it better than us all along. We are not expanding. We are catching up.

Press Release — March 2025

“The Board of Directors — all of whom are related — voted unanimously to approve NSAN’s international expansion into three markets where our services are, statistically speaking, redundant. We view this as a growth opportunity.”

— Reginald Whitmore-Pemberton IV, President (son of the founder, grandson of the chairman, nephew of the treasurer)

🇮🇳

The Dynasty Headquarters — India Chapter

Family First, Merit Optional

Est. 2025 (unofficially operational since the Maurya Empire)

India's chapter formalizes what the subcontinent has perfected over millennia: the seamless integration of family obligation and professional advancement. From Bollywood casting decisions to boardroom succession plans, our members have elevated familial preference to an art form that would make the Medicis weep with admiration.

Charter Member Benefits

  • Career Arranged Marriages — our proprietary matching service pairs unqualified relatives with C-suite vacancies across 28 states and 8 union territories
  • The Uncle Network™ — a referral pipeline so vast it has its own organizational chart and an annual gala
  • Startup Funding via Auntie Capital — because venture capital is just organized family lending with better PowerPoints
  • Bollywood Nepo-Kid Fast Track — guaranteed screen tests for any member whose parent has ever stood near a film camera
🇨🇳

The Guanxi Grand Lodge — China Chapter

Connections Are Competence

Est. 2025 (spiritually descended from 2,500 years of Confucian duty)

China's chapter honors the ancient tradition of guanxi — the sophisticated relationship network that Western business schools have spent decades trying to rebrand as 'networking.' Our members understand that hiring someone you trust (i.e., your cousin) is not favoritism; it is risk management with a family discount.

Charter Member Benefits

  • Red Envelope Bloodlines — an exclusive inheritance-tracking service ensuring no promotion opportunity passes to an outsider
  • Confucian Loyalty Certification — a credential recognizing that filial piety and professional advancement are the same thing
  • Family Conglomerate Incubator — because the best business model is one where every department head shares a surname
  • The Banquet Table Boardroom — all major decisions are made over dinner, as nature intended
🇵🇭

The Dynasty Archipelago Society — Philippines Chapter

Democracy Is a Family Affair

Est. 2025 (retroactively endorsed by every political family since 1946)

The Philippines chapter celebrates a nation where democracy and dynasty have achieved perfect symbiosis. With political clans spanning every province and congressional district, our members have demonstrated that the most efficient form of governance is one where the ballot box is merely a formality and the real election happened at last year's family reunion.

Charter Member Benefits

  • Provincial Throne Inheritance Program — ensuring smooth transitions of power from parent to child, sibling to sibling, and occasionally to a well-connected in-law
  • Cousin-Only Ventures — a business incubation program where the sole admission criterion is shared DNA and a willingness to attend Sunday lunch
  • The Family Bloc Voting Guide — because informed citizenship starts with knowing which cousin is running for what
  • Congressional Legacy Seats — reserved seating for the next generation, because term limits are just a suggestion when your surname is on the ballot

Coming Soon

Future chapters are under development for the Middle East (wasta networks), Latin America (family conglomerate corridors), and Southeast Asia (monarchy-adjacent governance). If your region practices nepotism — and statistically, it does — we would like to formalize it.

Franchise applications accepted exclusively from family members of existing NSAN leadership. This is non-negotiable, and also the point.

The Fine Print

Policy & Terms

Please review our comprehensive legal documentation, drafted by the founder's nephew who attended one semester of law school.

By accessing this website, you acknowledge that the National Society for the Advancement of Nepotism ("NSAN," "we," "us," or "the family") reserves the right to modify these terms at any time, without notice, and retroactively if necessary. Your continued use of this site constitutes acceptance of terms you have not read and likely would not understand without a family member in our legal department to explain them. NSAN membership is non-transferable except through bloodline, marriage, or sufficiently generous holiday gift-giving. Members agree not to compete with, criticize, or outperform any relative holding a senior position within any organization, whether or not said organization is affiliated with NSAN. All disputes shall be resolved by a panel of arbitrators selected exclusively from the founding family's extended network. The arbitration venue shall be whichever country club the panel chair's family belongs to. Formal attire required; merit-based arguments discouraged. Users agree that "qualifications" is a subjective term and that familial connection constitutes the highest possible qualification. Any attempt to invoke objective hiring criteria on this platform will be treated as a terms of service violation.
NSAN collects no personal data because, frankly, we already know everything about you. Our members' backgrounds are thoroughly documented in family ledgers dating back several generations. In the unlikely event that we do collect information, we reserve the right to share it with any family member holding a C-suite position, any relative working in human resources, or anyone who asks nicely at Thanksgiving. Your data may also be discussed at family brunches, golf outings, and yacht christenings. We employ industry-standard security measures, which in our case means the IT department is run by the founder's grandson, who once took a computer science elective. We consider this more than adequate. Cookies are used on this site in the same way nepotism is used in the workplace: pervasively, without your explicit consent, and in a manner that primarily benefits those who were already in a privileged position.
This website uses cookies. Not the kind your grandmother makes (though those are also excellent and would absolutely get her a position in our culinary division). We use digital cookies to enhance your browsing experience and track your behavior in ways that would make a surveillance state uncomfortable. Essential Cookies: Required for the site to function. Like a family member on the board — technically necessary, practically decorative. Analytics Cookies: Help us understand how visitors use our site. We have found that 94% of visitors are referred by a relative, which we consider a healthy and normal traffic pattern. Preference Cookies: Remember your settings, such as your preferred language, font size, and which family branch you belong to. These cannot be deleted, much like your obligations to the family business. By continuing to use this site, you consent to our use of all cookies. Declining cookies is technically possible but socially discouraged, much like declining a position your uncle created specifically for you.
The content on Nepotism.org is provided for satirical and entertainment purposes only. NSAN makes no representations or warranties regarding the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information on this site, primarily because accuracy would undermine the humor. Nothing on this website should be construed as actual legal, professional, or career advice. If you are genuinely considering hiring a family member solely because they are related to you, we cannot stop you, but please note that actual employment law may have opinions about this. NSAN is not responsible for any career decisions made based on the content of this website, including but not limited to: appointing your nephew as Chief Innovation Officer, creating a Vice President of Family Relations position, or listing "being someone's cousin" as a core competency on your résumé. Past nepotistic performance is not indicative of future results. Some families may experience diminishing returns after the third generation. Individual results may vary based on the size of your family's trust fund and the flexibility of your organization's HR department. If you found this site because you were genuinely searching for a nepotism advocacy group, we have some concerns.