The National Society for the
Advancement of Nepotism

By accessing this website, you acknowledge that the National Society for the Advancement of Nepotism ("NSAN," "we," "us," or "the family") reserves the right to modify these terms at any time, without notice, and retroactively if necessary. Your continued use of this site constitutes acceptance of terms you have not read and likely would not understand without a family member in our legal department to explain them. NSAN membership is non-transferable except through bloodline, marriage, or sufficiently generous holiday gift-giving. Members agree not to compete with, criticize, or outperform any relative holding a senior position within any organization, whether or not said organization is affiliated with NSAN. All disputes shall be resolved by a panel of arbitrators selected exclusively from the founding family's extended network. The arbitration venue shall be whichever country club the panel chair's family belongs to. Formal attire required; merit-based arguments discouraged. Users agree that "qualifications" is a subjective term and that familial connection constitutes the highest possible qualification. Any attempt to invoke objective hiring criteria on this platform will be treated as a terms of service violation.

NSAN collects no personal data because, frankly, we already know everything about you. Our members' backgrounds are thoroughly documented in family ledgers dating back several generations. In the unlikely event that we do collect information, we reserve the right to share it with any family member holding a C-suite position, any relative working in human resources, or anyone who asks nicely at Thanksgiving. Your data may also be discussed at family brunches, golf outings, and yacht christenings. We employ industry-standard security measures, which in our case means the IT department is run by the founder's grandson, who once took a computer science elective. We consider this more than adequate. Cookies are used on this site in the same way nepotism is used in the workplace: pervasively, without your explicit consent, and in a manner that primarily benefits those who were already in a privileged position.

This website uses cookies. Not the kind your grandmother makes (though those are also excellent and would absolutely get her a position in our culinary division). We use digital cookies to enhance your browsing experience and track your behavior in ways that would make a surveillance state uncomfortable. Essential Cookies: Required for the site to function. Like a family member on the board — technically necessary, practically decorative. Analytics Cookies: Help us understand how visitors use our site. We have found that 94% of visitors are referred by a relative, which we consider a healthy and normal traffic pattern. Preference Cookies: Remember your settings, such as your preferred language, font size, and which family branch you belong to. These cannot be deleted, much like your obligations to the family business. By continuing to use this site, you consent to our use of all cookies. Declining cookies is technically possible but socially discouraged, much like declining a position your uncle created specifically for you.

The content on Nepotism.org is provided for satirical and entertainment purposes only. NSAN makes no representations or warranties regarding the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information on this site, primarily because accuracy would undermine the humor. Nothing on this website should be construed as actual legal, professional, or career advice. If you are genuinely considering hiring a family member solely because they are related to you, we cannot stop you, but please note that actual employment law may have opinions about this. NSAN is not responsible for any career decisions made based on the content of this website, including but not limited to: appointing your nephew as Chief Innovation Officer, creating a Vice President of Family Relations position, or listing "being someone's cousin" as a core competency on your résumé. Past nepotistic performance is not indicative of future results. Some families may experience diminishing returns after the third generation. Individual results may vary based on the size of your family's trust fund and the flexibility of your organization's HR department. If you found this site because you were genuinely searching for a nepotism advocacy group, we have some concerns.